Pre-Show Jitters

I had a lesson Friday to go over some final points of the tests.  I think it was ok, but the quality of gaits and relaxation weren’t there as much as I wanted.  I think it mainly came from running through parts of the test.  Mort has all of the pieces fairly well, but putting it all together in a set order and timing is tougher.  I definitely tend to ask for transitions when I think they will be good.  I need to ride more precisely and less on feel—if I want to actually show Mort and not just ride around.  I admit both are important to me, but he needs to be able to listen to a half halt even if I asked him to lengthen a few strides ago (or whatever else).  Homework was to do more transitions with less prep time in between. 

So Mort and I worked hard the next ride to accomplish that.  I also really tried to work on making sure he was bending through his ribcage tracking left and not just neck bend.  This meant that my left hand was all over the place because of my inability to use it correctly.  When he was bending the way I wanted or straight in the contact we were OK.  When he didn’t want to bend I’d just pull that good ole left hand and throw him into neck bend.  But because I was trying to NOT do that I’d also not do that sometimes and try to just get it from my leg and seat.  Essentially my poor horse had to put up with me being a hot, inconsistent mess. 

For now, we’re going to go back to happy/easy for the last few days before our show.  It’s just a schooling show so I look forward to hearing what the judge thinks our major issues are versus what I’m insecure about.  I feel like I fall into a trap of having excuses to not show.  Last year I didn’t want to show because his canter wasn’t consistent or strong.  This year I feel like I want to train him to have better self-carriage and suppleness.  Next year I’ll probably not like something as well.  I have had the privilege of riding some nice and upper-level horses thanks to my time at WWU, but I think it gives me some expectation issues.  I know what I want Mort to feel like, but for some reason my OTTB who I’ve only had 1.5 years doesn’t feel like a fourth level dressage horse yet.  And in my head that means he’s not ready (for anything apparently?).  Hopefully he is actually ready for training/first.  I’m sure he’ll let me know on Sunday.