A Little Self-Loathing

     Well Mort and I have officially spent a year together.  We celebrated by SO and I going home to visit with my parents (and the old lady pups) and Mort enjoyed a weekend with no work.  We drove back on Monday and I did go out and ride my boy just enough to call it a workout, but nothing special or long. He deserves a trail ride as he's been working really hard for me in the arena lately.

     In the last couple of weeks I have been trying to be very focused in our work.  I feel like we are almost to a breakthrough moment.  Our transitions are getting better and much more consistent--less hollowing out and head tossing.  He is starting to leg yield at the trot.  We're working on lengthening and shortening his stride in the trot.  I am trying to get better control of that outside shoulder in the canter (which is pretty hard stuff).  He has definitely been putting in his all lately.  I love a horse with a good work ethic and Mort has that in spades.

     Yesterday (in the extreme heat and humidity) Mort and I took a short adventure to Leah's arena.  Her husband (thanks Myles!) took several pictures of us working our horses--and those pictures made me sad.  Mort is definitely looking good and we are getting less and less pictures of awkward moments than we used to.  (Please excuse the hobo appearance; it was hot and I didn't feel like tucking my shirt in and wearing a belt...or wearing sleeves)

Lots and lots of trot pictures like this; not so many with his head up in the air

But looking at my position I am concerned and confused at how Mort puts up with me on his back.  I originally learned to ride huntseat, so when I made the switch to full dressage it was a very hard habit to break.  Even when I was schooling and showing some of the upper level stuff I had to think about keeping my upper body back and not going into 'chair seat'.  But several years of thinking of those bad habits and working on not letting myself do them had fixed a lot of it.  I was never perfect (and never will be), but I could look at pictures and videos of myself and not hate what was happening on top of the horse.

I could go on for days about the things that I dislike

     A year of re-training Mort in a cross country saddle has brought all of my bad habits back with a vengeance.  I go into chair seat without even noticing that it should feel wrong.  I fold my upper body into fetal position as soon as any little thing goes wrong.  If I focus on anything other than sitting back (like where Mort is putting his shoulders, if he's tense, if I want him to move off of my leg, etc.) I crumple.  It makes me an ugly rider--but more importantly it means that I am much less effective, balanced, and consistent than I could be.  How do I expect Mort to be balanced and consistent if I'm not doing that for him?  Frustrating.  I need someone to come out and yell at me.  I need no stirrup work.  I need lunge lessons.  I need to focus while I'm riding and not let myself fall into old, crappy habits.

No more slouching

Leaning and looking down only serves to throw us out of balance

     New goal added to our summer list:
          Learn to ride dressage again        

Wish me luck!

     Dressage saddle is officially up for sale.  I like the way it fits Mort; I think that I would love the way that it fits Mort if I got it re-flocked.  I definitely need a 17" seat and not a 16.5.  In a year (or whenever) when I start sitting trot I think it'll be a real problem.  I think it doesn't let me move enough at the canter--not enough swing.  .
     So if anyone is looking:
          16.5" County Competitor with a #4 fit
     If anyone is selling:
          17" County with a #4 fit